Deal With the Evil People Across the Table

Deal With the Evil People Across the Bargaining Table

The best way to deal with evil negotiation counterparts is to accept that they are not evil.

Almost no one in the world is really evil. Sure, there were Hitler, Stalin and Pol Pot of Cambodia, each of whom ordered the deaths of literally millions of their own countrymen and –women. That is evil. Although they could cook up a story how it was in their nation’s interest to murder all these people, it was BS and they knew it. They just liked exerting the power and killing people. That is evil.

Everyone else is at worst aggressive at furthering his or her own interests. Face it, most people have a stake in the outcome of events in general and issues on the table, a stake that does not square with yours. From their point of view, you do not further their stake. Do you see yourself as evil? They might. After all, what you want isn’t what they want. What you want may well be to stop them from getting what they want. Isn’t that evil? Or is each case more like a cat—which acts like a cat, just doing cat things, some of which seem strange to humans but which are natural to a cat?

Now we can get to “You son of a b_tch, you are trying to rob me,” and other productive declarations. If you say stuff like that, guess what, it is going to produce an equal and opposite reaction, and no agreement.

Keep in mind, the purpose of negotiation is to make a deal. And therefore, you are best off going into a bargaining session simply thinking of the folks on the other side of the table not as SOBs but as

· Wanting different or even quite different outcomes for the bargaining.

· Being intelligent and creative, just like you.

· Worth speaking with civilly, in aid of making a deal.

No one in the room is evil, although they may be aggressive, like you.

I would bet you always try to tell the truth as best you have been able to find it out. I am not suggesting you mix in anything false. But I’d also bet you don’t always tell all of the truth, especially when some of it would ‘only confuse the issue.’

Do you think people hearing you but not friends with you might think what you say to them sounds like a lie, because you leave out some potentially confusing stuff?

What about the other side? Do they sound like they lie? How often is it really because they leave out potentially confusing or muddling parts? If you call them liars, or deal with them so it is clear you think so … well, you are again going to have an equal and opposite reaction, and no agreement. So think of the others not as liars but as

· Having possibly different information from you that they think of as truthful.

· Not wanting to put forth jumbling information that is not all that germane.

No one in the room is a liar. No one is evil.

It strikes me that most people make offers they think are fair, although sometimes they hold back some for bargaining room. I am not suggesting people are ungenerous, but merely guarded. Is that you? Do you think others also behave this way? Please think of others as

· Holding back somewhat on offers so they have ‘wiggle room’ to offer more if they need to.

No one in the room holds back just to harm the people they are negotiating with. No one is a liar. No one is evil. Doesn’t than feel better?

Now, go ahead and negotiate.

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