A Lesson For Us All

The North Wind and the Sun were disputing which was stronger when a traveler came along wrapped in a warm cloak.  They agreed that the one who first succeeded in making the traveler take his cloak off should be considered stronger than the other.

The North Wind blew as hard as he could, but the more he blew, the more closely did the traveler fold his cloak around him; and at last, the North Wind gave up the attempt.

Then the Sun shined out warmly.  Immediately the traveler took off his cloak.

And so the North Wind was obliged to confess that the Sun was stronger of the two.

Often people involved in a dispute or in a bargaining situation presume that force is the key to success.  Frequently it is not.  As in this fable, attributed to Aesop and published in Wikipedia, force does not necessarily triumph.

In negotiating—whether pursuing an opportunity or resolving a dispute-- the side that resorts to bluster, threats, and nasty tricks merely makes the other side wrap itself tighter in its cloak, determined to resist as long as it can.   Such an approach moves the parties farther apart than ever from a balance point and creates an adversarial relationship… versus a warm, sunny effort to engender trust and appeal to fairness, as the Sun teaches us.

Be wary, therefore, of anyone who urges a “tough” position.  Whose side is she or he really on?

When you choose a negotiation advocate—whether doing a deal or resolving a dispute—choose the one who will resolutely move toward resolution and arrive there efficiently at a moderate cost.  Never forget the North Wind and the Sun.  Life lessons are important for us all.

Now, call Phil Marcus to discuss his approach to getting your deal done!